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1broknhrtedfool's journal
You are viewing 1broknhrtedfool's journal
No one can find the rewind button girl...so cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe |
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| "We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon, but that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dec. 4th, 2005 @ 07:51 pm (no subject) | |||
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Current Music: can't touch this-MC Hammer
I'm in a really good, happy, funny, life is great mood right now.. so i thought everyone should know!Smile.. i love you!! well.. most of you..! Have a grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaa | ||
| Nov. 27th, 2005 @ 12:12 pm (no subject) | |||
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Current Music: stick wit you-pcd
So my birthday is on Tuesday..how exciting, NOT.. mom is on call so she has to miss my birthday AGAIN.. dad works until 5:30 and then coaches my little sisters basketall team from 6:15- till 9 something.. so he and Ali won't be here either.. and Lindsay can't come back from state b/c she has no ride and probably doesn't want to anyway.. so i guess I'm alone for the big 1-7! No big deal, it's just my birthday. | ||
| Nov. 16th, 2005 @ 09:19 pm do this.. forreal | |||
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| Post anything that you want (in the comments), BUT post it ANONYMOUSLY. It can be anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post Anonymously and Honestly. Post twice or 40 times if you'd like. YOU BETTER DO IT DAMNIT | ||
| Nov. 10th, 2005 @ 10:21 pm (no subject) | |||
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Current Mood:
wow.. i don't eve know how to start.. the past couple of weeks have been so good.. and soo bad all at the same time.. i kind of feel guilty for being so happy here in Holt when i know so many of my friends in Peoria are goin through a tough time.. and it's not like i don't care.. it's just that i try not to think about what's going on.. because i feel so helpless..  indifferentCurrent Music: you've got a way with me-Shania Twain On a happier note i've spent some time w/ some really cool people the past week.. and have learned that you really can't judge a person by their reputation.. give people a chance.. and sometimes they can really surprise you.. i really hope i become close w/ some of these guys and girls.. they really are amazing people! I've been keeping myself busy, and have actually been pretty happy.. but it seems like every time i sit down.. and am not distracted by something or someone.. i think.. and thinking for me is bad because i over do it.. but two seconds ago i decided not to bitch outloud about some of my thoughts... b/c no one likes to hear someone bitch all the time.. it gets old.. so if you really want to know.. i guess you can just ask..or don't.. that's cool too.. no one reads Lj anymore.. so this entry was probably pretty pointless | ||
| Nov. 6th, 2005 @ 04:45 pm (no subject) | |||
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| I've seen both the best and the worst this past week.. but here's a big surprise.. I'm actually pretty happy and in a good mood! My heart goes out to everyone in Peoria.. especially my close friends.. I love you guys so much.. be strong.. i miss you! Please pray for Mr. Hilton.. also keep him in your thoughts and prayers.. I love you all! | ||
| Oct. 27th, 2005 @ 09:19 pm (no subject) | |||
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| meh.. i don't like being sick.. no fun.. Anyway.. the last couple of weeks have been pretty good.. I've been kept very busy and haven't had THAT much hw.. knock on wood.. only bad thing now is everyone has a job at Ci Ci's but me.. how uncool.. oh well.. leave love.. i'm out | ||
| Oct. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:31 am (no subject) | |||
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Current Mood:
Rams 9-0. That's right.. Holt beat Grand Ledge!! Perfect season, conference champs.. playoffs here we come! energeticAngie and Ashely are such cool girls.. even tho i almost killed them w/ the car! SO life's been kinda crazy lately.. but in both good and bad ways. I really wish i had a boy.. i think that would make me a lot happier oh well.. don't really feel like goin in to detail about anyhing.. toodles oh yes.. and sophomores who push and shove ppl around in a freakin crowded ass student section.. pull my hair and touch me.. and use the words fuck and yo every two seconds really bug me.. 1. dont act like ur 2years old.. 2. don't freakin touch me if you dont know me.. and 3. you can't use the word yo...ur not black. you never have been. and never will be. you can't use the word yo..get over it.. you sound STUPID. thanks and goodbye | ||
| Oct. 17th, 2005 @ 11:21 pm (no subject) | |||
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Current Mood:
Zach and Spencer.. two of the best guys out there.. seriously.. giddyCurrent Music: may angels lead you in-jimmy eat world oh goodness me.. i gotta secret.. anyone wanna take a guess on what it is? | ||
| Oct. 16th, 2005 @ 01:16 pm (no subject) | |||
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Current Mood:
KELLY NEEDS HER BROTHER BACKSTAGE contentKelly needs some competition in this one KELLY NEEDS HELP Kelly needs a 12 year old to pee on! <--- wtf? Kelly needs to be part of a loving, committed "marriage straaaaaaaaaaaange uh oh...;) Anyone wanna join me watching scary movies and goin to haunted houses? | ||
| Oct. 12th, 2005 @ 04:15 pm venting.. | |||
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Current Mood:
Don't even bother reading this because all I'm doing is bitching... frustratedCurrent Music: I just want you to know-BSB I am so fucking sick of everything. This year so far has sucked majorly. I haven't been getting along with my friends, i can't get a boyfriend even if my life depended on it, school is kicking my ass, life at home is stressful and ppl have pretty much treated me like shit. I don't even talk to half of the people i used to.. that goes for Holt as well as Peoria.. I keep feeling like I'm missing out on so much.. and it really upsets me. I miss Peoria a lot.. but i got a harsh realization over the weekend when i was in town. When i left Peoria, I left everything. I left my friends, being able to fit in, knowing everyone, everything i'd ever known..Peoria was home to me. Now I've lived in Holt for 1 year and 4 months.. and i STILL feel like the new kid.. like i don't exactly fit it.. and i never will as well as i did in Peoria.. this doesn't really feel like a home yet.. and i don't think it will.. But going back made me realize that Peoria isn't my home any more either. Things have changed and my friends have moved on without me. I mean i knew they would, it's not like life was going to stop just becuase i left.. but its just hard to know my friends have moved on WITHOUT me.. they are just fine w/o me in their life.. but i'm not ok w/o them. I won't be in there memories any more. When my friends at RHS think back about high school.. i'm not gonna be in those memories.. every day i miss the little things that happen that make the best stories to tell.. the best memories for later.. It's hard enough to keep my friendships with my friends all in one school 400 miles away but i don't know what I'm going to do when we all go to college.. I don't want to completely fall apart.. I can't imagine my life without some of these people.. I can't handle never seeing them again.. but the thing is.. that's how it's going to be in 2 years.. less then 2 years now.. It's not that I hate Holt and the people in it.. it's just that it's not the same.. and it never will be. I don't have the history w/ these ppl like i did in Peoria.. people here don't know me as well.. and i don't hold that against anyone.. it just makes things harder. I need the people here.. I don't know what'd I do w/o my friends.. but i know they don't NEED me.. they obviously did fine w/o me before i came here.. I don't even think half of my friends understand what all I've gone through.. and some of them probably don't even care.. and that ones that do just don't know what to say to me. I don't hold that against them, because obviously I don't even know what to say or do.. I just wish that people would cut me some slack.. and at least to TRY and understand where I'm coming from when i get upset.. I'm just tired of being stressed and tired. I need things to get better.. in every aspect of my life..home, school, friends.. etc.. I'm sorry if this entry has offended anyone.. but this is honestly how i feel... I'm really trying to be a good person.. I want to better than this.. I don't want to be the person who bitches all the time.. but until things improve.. I don't know what to do.. | ||
